George Carlin has a classic comedy skit called “idiot minus 15 seconds.”  The basic gist of the skit is that when someone goes to stand in line, they invariably ask the person in front of them if they are standing in the right line.  The problem is that this guy doesn’t really know, 15 seconds ago he was an idiot, he just happened to end up in front of you and asked the person in front of him, who asked the person in front of him, and so on, and so on.  George goes on to describe how on one day he decided to test his theory by standing in front of a closed ticket window.  After a while someone walks up and asks if this is the line for the Rolling Stones tickets and George tells him, “sure!”   Within an hour the line is around the block.

I was reminded of this classic routine when I took this backpack.  I read in a couple of magazines that Paria Canyon on the Utah/Arizona border was an awesome trip.  So I read all the advice I could find and read that end of May was the best time of the year to go.  Even though my previous four Utah trips were in October and the weather was great, I decided to follow the guide books and go in May.  But let me tell you, it was hot!  I mean reeeeaaaaaallllllyyyyy hot.  Maybe 2002 was an unusual year.  Maybe I was just sensitive to it.  Or maybe, just maybe, I was an idiot minus 15 seconds, just believing what the guy in front of me said.  All I know for sure is that by the third day of my hike, I was on all fours in the river splashing water over myself in an attempt to cool down.  One of my fellow backpackers said I looked like a dog, all I needed to do was start barking to complete the picture. 

Not only did I feel somewhat like an idiot for hiking in 100 degree weather I also let myself get talked into going without a tent.  I read article after article extolling the virtues of saving weight with a tarp.  Since I was hiking someplace where rain was unlikely, I decided to forgo the tent with visions of “sleeping out under the stars.”  Between mice and mosquitoes, I learned the hard way that rain is only one of the many things a tent protects you from.  Right now some of you are saying to yourselves that I am being a wimp, that it’s all part of the outdoor experience.  Hey, I enjoyed myself and would do it all over again, but all I’m saying is next time I’m taking my tent.  The moral of the story my friends, is that after all the trip research is done, you should trust your instincts.

Helpful Websites:

• http://www.backpacker.com/article/0,2646,3409_P,00.html   <- Article that got me started planning this

• http://paria.az.blm.gov/ 

• http://www.arizonahandbook.com/paria.htm

• http://www.pariacampground.com/

Click to expand pics as needed

    <- You will have to look closely at the center of the pic to see the person. (day 2)

    <- Off to a good start (from White House Trailhead), in the dry riverbed

    <- Really, the river had no water in it!

    <- We enjoyed the shade when we could find it!

    <- This is the only picture that has been digitally altered, I attempted to correct for overexposure from the white sand in the river bottom.  All the other pics are the natural color of the rocks.

    <- In "the narrows" day one

    <- View from Camp, day 1

    <- View from Camp day 2

    <- Last shade to be found, lunchtime on day 3...from here on out the canyon got wider as the sun got higher...by the afternoon we were missing that shade!  We had planned to be out there four days, but after reaching two different camps on the third day and finding no shade, and being hot and miserable each of the previous nights, we decided to hike on out that day.  It made for a 18.5 mile day, but it was worth it to reach someplace with ice and air conditioning!  Yeah, we broke down and got a hotel...

    <- Yeah! water! water! water! (near camp on day 1)

    <- Most of the water was shallow like in this pic, but we did pass some pools on day 3 that I swam in, just a few feet deep but flowing enough to be cool.  We also had a couple of feet of water near our camp on day 2 that was near a rock overhang, so we sat in the water in the shade, that was awesome after the day's hike.

    <- No caption, just liked the picture.

    <- Ok, I admit it, towards the end of the third day, I was afraid the sun would make me start looking like this guy.